


Is it Possible to Feel Everything?

by andiebeaword



Series: Spencer Reid Teen+ One Shots [8]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Cesarean Section, Established Relationship, F/M, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24565144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andiebeaword/pseuds/andiebeaword
Summary: So, I blame erin-bo-berin on tumblr for the inspiration for this fic. Every single one of her Daddy!Spencer fics are just so adorable and fluffy, that I wanted to sit down here and write my own. Full disclosure, I have a toddler, myself. He is 2 and just the cutest. For this, I am essentially sharing my own pregnancy and birth experience with you, through the Reader, so, please, bare with me. The main focus will be on the birth, itself (which I haven't really read yet in a Spencer fic, so I hope I'm original in that aspect) but, there will be some fluff around the angsty sandwich.Relationship: Married.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Series: Spencer Reid Teen+ One Shots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115525
Kudos: 35





	Is it Possible to Feel Everything?

The day we got engaged was a day I'll never forget. 

It was late, I'd been sitting at my desk, trying to write -- something -- and, just couldn't. I was hoping to write a poem, to pour my feelings out where I could read them in front of me. A couple of weeks ago, I went out with my mom and her friend. They made comments about how they thought I might be pregnant. We weren't even trying. Sure enough, another week after that, I got my period. But, it got me thinking. So, I told Spencer. He was getting home from work, late as usual. I bit my lip, trying to figure out how to gauge whether or not he wanted to start trying, too. Then, the words just spilled out of my mouth. By the end, Spencer, without a ring, and in our pajamas, proposed in the sweetest, most heartfelt way possible. 

Within five months, we were making wedding plans and actively trying to expand our family. Days after our wedding, I got my period. Even though, it had only been a few months, we agreed that given our ages, we wanted to know if we had any genetic problems when it came to conceiving and/or me carrying our child. Spencer made the appointment. Strangely, our moods changed. The added stress of trying and failing washed away and we began living more in the moment, so to speak. So, neither one of us thought anything of it when the day of our appointment finally came. 

"Y/N Reid?" The receptionist called out. We both stood and followed her to a small room. Moments later, a phlebotomist came, and began drawing my blood. We answered all the questions required and opted for every test we could have done. It pained me when we go to the genetic history section of the paperwork. Spencer's mom had schizophrenia and Alzheimer's. Various cancers and dementia plagued my family. 

"Alright, everything is done. Now, on the off chance that our tests confirm you are pregnant, Mrs. Reid, we will be sure to give you a call." 

We left the clinic, and went on about the rest of our day as usual. I got home from my job as a call center agent shortly after 5:00 p.m. Not even two minutes after I set my purse down and began debating take-out, my phone rang. 

"Hello?" 

"Hello. Is this Y/N Reid?" It was my doctor. 

"Yes, this is she." 

"Y/N, I have good news. Your blood work came back. Your hCG levels were higher than normal. Congratulations, you're pregnant!" I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel I was close to about fainting right there on my living room floor. Pregnant. Me. Us. 

"Wow, thank you. Is there anything else we should be concerned with?" Now that I got confirmation, an entire new wave of panic set in. 

"Not at this time, though we will need to get you back in for an ultrasound to see just how far along you are. Does March 3rd at 9:00 a.m. work for you?" 

"Yes, thank you. I can't wait to tell my husband." 

"Alright. We got you in for the third at nine o'clock. Again, congratulations." 

With that, I ended the call. Pregnant. Wow. I glanced down at my stomach, which hadn't changed at all since I was given the happy news. But, it would change. 

Without thinking, I dialed Spencer's number, completely forgetting that he was on a case God knows where. I didn't care. I was too damn excited. He needed to be just as thrilled as I now am. After three rings, he picked up. "Hey, honey, everything okay?" See, this is why I love this man. No matter what hell he might be facing or thinking, depending on the case, he always makes sure I'm having a better day. While a small part of me wanted to be coy and give him clues to figure out, I just couldn't keep it in for the life of me. 

"I'M PREGNANT!" 

An entire minute of silence filled the void. 

"Spencer? You still there?" I heard his coworkers in the background, but I couldn't make out any of their voices or what they were saying for the matter. Next thing I know, one of them grabbed his phone. 

"Hi...Y/N? This is Emily, Spencer's boss, what did you tell him?" I've only met his team a handful of times, and hadn't known any of them well enough at this point. But, they were Spencer's family and that was more than good enough for me. 

"I, um, told him that I'm pregnant." A slew of claps and giggles came over the phone so loud I had to pull it away from my ear. After what felt like forever, Spencer finally got his phone back. 

"Please tell me you're not joking, Y/N." He's not wrong. While I wouldn't joke, every single time I was a day or two late, I'd playfully hint that maybe that month, the test would show two lines instead of just one. After a while, I knew not to joke anymore. 

"I swear, Spencer. I just got the call from Dr. Lang. And, I have another appointment for an ultrasound already scheduled for March 3rd." 

"Oh my god...I'm going to be a dad!" It made my heart grow so big, hearing him say that, I found myself wondering where the baby is going to fit. Before I could say my goodbyes and start making dinner, I heard Spencer get the last words in. "First thing you need to do, Y/N, is quit your job." 

\-------♥-------- 

For the past six months, I was working as a forklift driver at the local Amazon warehouse. I was the only woman on my shift. I was proud to be a part of the team, even if it meant getting snickers and date requests from the guys who worked on the other departments. I rarely wore my wedding rings on the job. No one but my boss knew I'd gotten married. 

The first Monday that came after getting the call, I requested to speak with my supervisor. He congratulated me, then said I would be able to step down to off-standard housecleaning work, meaning I would pretty much do nothing and still get paid. Then he said that I would only get the bare minimum and no bonuses or incentives. That significantly dropped my pay by a good five dollars an hour. 

After much discussing with Spencer, we agreed I would put my two weeks notice in and be a stay-at-home wife, then mom when our little nugget was born. My pregnancy went fairly smooth, all considering, that is, until we were due to learn the baby's sex. I had been required to take the standard glucose test, which meant drinking a sugary drink, then going in to be poked and prodded to see if I had gestational diabetes. After being told my numbers were high enough, I was given the necessary equipment and had to poke my fingers five times a day. I hated it. Much to Spencer's dismay, I refused to change my diet. There was no need. My numbers were fine, and our baby was growing at a healthy rate. 

At the urgency of his good friend and coworker, Penelope, Spencer and I agreed for her to throw both the gender reveal and baby shower parties. She was over the moon ecstatic. It was everything I ever thought I wanted and more. Thankfully, Spencer and I were in charge of absolutely nothing, except to show up on time. Which, somehow, we managed. He looked so ridiculously handsome in his usual attire, along with a Dad-To-Be button pinned to his shirt pocket. Penelope had given me a purple sash with the words Mom-To-Be in cursive written on it. As it came time for us to cut the cake, the room went silent. 

"You ready?" Spencer asked me as we both put our hands on the cake cutter. 

"I am, if you are." With that, we both lifted the piece we'd cut to reveal that we would be the proud parents of a bouncing baby boy, Samuel Leighton Reid. 

\-------♥-------- 

We were now less than a month away from our due date, which happened to be just days before Spencer's birthday. To say he was overjoyed to not only share his birthday month with his son, but to be allowed to paint my belly early, was a severe understatement. Yes, since our son was sure to be born before Halloween, I agreed to let my husband paint my belly whatever his heart desired. Thankfully, the BAU's Halloween Party was in the middle of the month. 

The only up side to having gestational diabetes was getting to have weekly ultrasounds done, thus, having various photos to share with our friends and family. We made sure to mail some out to his mom and my folks. My mom was able to make frequent visits when necessary, so she came to quite a few of my appointments when Spencer couldn't. I was beyond grateful she was there with me for my last one. 

"Well, Y/N, it looks like your boy is officially over eight pounds. Dr. Smith would like to schedule you to be induced on the 23rd, is that okay?" That was five days before Spencer's birthday and one week before Halloween. It was perfect. 

"That works." 

"One thing, Y/N, as I'm sure you know, there may be a chance that you'll need to have a cesarean section if we can't get you dilated enough." Now that, I had, indeed, considered. My mother had to have an emergency c-section with me as she had placenta previa, and I was born six weeks early, only weighing five pounds. Yet, here I was, perfectly (for the most part) healthy, so I felt confident that no matter what, I would be able to hold my son in my arms soon. 

\-------♥-------- 

Today was the day. Spencer had decided to take a month off work, being lucky enough that the Bureau offers paternity leave, in preparation to help me out at home. We woke up early, double and triple checked that our bags were ready to go and we were out the door on our way to the hospital. We were surrounded by his entire BAU family, even Diana was able to come out for the birth of her grandson. My parents and my sisters and nieces and nephews all came out, too. It was truly a full house. We had planned to have both our moms in the delivery room with us. 

I was prepped and ready to be given the epidural I'd requested in my birth plan after about six hours of waiting. It didn't hurt like I'd thought. In truth, I was always secretly scared I'd be part of the small percentage of women who wind up paralyzed by a simple shot in the spinal chord. More hours passed, and I still wasn't dilated enough to begin pushing. I was beginning to get worried. Eventually I felt the sudden and painful urge to push. My god, it felt like I'd gone weeks without a bowel movement and now I was backed up with nowhere else to go. 

Even though I vaguely heard my doctor and Spencer persistently tell me to hold it, I couldn't. It was aggravating, to say the least. I was at my wits end, and I didn't like it. That's when Dr. Smith came in with good and bad news. "The good news is there is nothing wrong with Samuel. The bad news is he is at risk of getting stuck in the birth canal. We can sure try to push and hope that he fits through, or we can wheel you upstairs for a c-section now." The second I heard the word now, I said yes. I want this baby out. Now. 

Only Spencer was allowed to be with me in the operating room. More needles were inserted and I had my earrings and rings taped over. They also strapped my arms out at my sides to prevent me from hurting myself or our son. "Okay, Y/N, you're doing great. Just remember to squeeze Spencer's hand whenever you need to." I saw Dr. Smith give Spencer a nod, then felt my husband's hand in mine. I was more than prepared to make that hand of his bleed. "Okay, I'm going to make a small incision now. You shouldn't feel any pain, just tugging." I nodded my head, though my mouth opened up and asked for another shot of whatever they could give me to help with the pain I wasn't supposed to have. 

The second I felt the knife on my stomach, all hell broke loose. 

I swear I could feel everything. Why was I feeling everything. Just some light tugging was a severe understatement. I was squeezing Spencer's hand so tight, I'm pretty sure if he lost a circulation in his body, how the hell was he still able to stand up right and film this? I began imagining everything that was happening to me as I couldn't see past the thin curtain that was pulled over between my face and my belly. I was screaming and crying and trying desperately to calm myself down so I didn't miss the first cries of our newborn son. I was always told only to worry if right after the birth, your baby doesn't cry. Crying is good. Crying is healthy. I felt not only rough tugging, but waves of pain I didn't think was possible. It felt like all my insides were being nicked and pulled and stabbed and...just PAIN! It felt like hours had gone by, that I was in hell, laying within fire that I could feel burning every inch of me, little by little, yet all at once. 

I was so engulfed in my own experience, I didn't notice Spencer, looking helpless, arguing with the physician stood behind me, administering shot after shot of whatever drug was meant to help, though I couldn't feel numb even if I tried. We both felt helpless. Then, we heard it. Our son, our Samuel...crying. Without a second to waste, I felt Spencer let go of my hand, only to go stand with the nurse to cut what was left of the chord. I still felt the pain, but it was slowly, like snail slow, dampening, as I finally felt I was getting my breathing under control. "You did it, Y/N, there he is!" I couldn't yet see my son. My arms were still stuck out, and my head felt stuck, looking straight ahead. "They just weighed him, care to guess what he weighs?" Without thinking, without hesitation, I guessed. 

"Umm, nine pounds, five ounces." Spencer went silent. 

"There's no way you could see that from all the way over here." I laughed for the first time since that morning inside our apartment. I could him cracking a giggle, too. 

"What can I say, call it mother's intuition." 

\-------♥-------- 

Samuel Leighton Reid was born on October 24th, 2019 at 12:46 a.m., weighing in at 9 lbs. 5 oz. and was about 20 inches long. He was the most beautiful baby I'd ever laid my eyes on. And I'm well aware how extremely biased I am. 

The first time I got to feel Samuel's touch was over thirty minutes after giving birth. Spencer brought him over, coddled up in his baby blanket, pressing our cheeks together. "Hey, Sammy, it's your mommy. I love you so much!" I didn't care how horrendous I may have looked in that moment. I was over the moon happy. 

Sammy was held by every one at one point over the next three days. We had pictures taken, and loads of company during our extended stay. Spencer made sure to sleep while I was awake, and remained with Sammy while I slept. Not that we didn't trust the nurses, but we knew that babies in general will cry when they need something. Neither one of us really understood why nurses insisted that all babies needed to be given a bottle every two hours. We also groaned while having to watch every educational first time parents videos that were required before being released from the hospital. 

\-------♥-------- 

Those first two weeks were a beautiful blur. I chose to give breast-feeding a try, but also having Spencer bottle feed him as well. I hated trying to pump. I got the stupid one where you had to hold the bottles right up near your boobs, and hold them there for an hour! Each time, my arms felt far more sore than if I had done bench presses. I couldn't fathom it. I managed to continue even though it hurt to feel his little mouth pinch and suck at each boob. The cream helped, but not enough. 

By the time the second week rolled around, I was on the last straw. So was Spencer. Neither one of us were getting hardly any sleep, and for my husband, especially, that was saying something. Together, we decided it was time for Samuel to sleep in his own crib, in the room next to ours, for the first time tonight. Up until now, he'd been sleeping in his bassinet next to my side of the bed, and in his crib during his daily naps. We made sure the baby monitor was working, and laid our precious son down on his tummy, using his little fist to secure his pacifier in place. 

One of those required videos touched on the whole babies sleeping on their backs was necessary to prevent SIDS. Not having anything in the crib was also said to prevent it. Not only did Sammy seem to sleep through the night better while on his tummy, but we had over seven stuffed animals, cute crib bumpers all around, and a nursery rhyme elephant to sing him to sleep. As long as we were on the same page when it came to our precious bundle of joy, nothing else mattered. 

\-------♥-------- 

Samuel's first birthday was one for the books. He started crawling at just five months old and walking by the time he was nine months old. With his daddy's genes, it came as no surprise that he could hold a decent conversation with any adult willing to listen. He was truly phenomenal. Noticing that Sammy was wanting to play with his new toys, along with all his cousins, I silently stepped away down the hall to our bedroom. I pulled out the baby scrapbook I'd been slowly putting together over the past year for our son. I let my eyes gloss over each photo, each smile, remembering each laugh and giggle. 

"Can you believe he was that small at one time?" 

Spencer came to sit next to me, pulling me in close for a hug and kiss. Together, we just sat in silence. Truly, happy, blissful silence.


End file.
